Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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