Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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