I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
