The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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