YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
