Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
