The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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