Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
