Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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