so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
