margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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