the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
