Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
