ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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