This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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