2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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