i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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