I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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