I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
PANTIES FOUND
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