4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your dad touched me again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
