spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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