Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
