Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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