you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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