i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
