Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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