how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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