Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
