I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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