thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
