Welp...herpes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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