so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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