Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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