Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
