i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize