I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
