it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.