My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
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lets start a swedish sibling band together
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
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There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks