1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture