If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
