The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
