I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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