Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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