He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.