Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.