You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.