I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.