Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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