return my video game
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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