Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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