nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize