i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
