doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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