i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would ride that face into the sunset
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
