I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
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Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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