you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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