$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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