spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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