She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
